Language shapes more than worlds

Nader & My life

2008-03-05T00:28:08Z

Seems my last post was in July of last year. Go figure.

I read this article about Nader's role in the 2000 election, that is being written about in the context of his re-entry into the race for 2008. I'm considering voting for him, if only because I support most everything he wants. Not like he'll win, but hey, a viable candidate for me.

"Asked on Sunday how he would feel if he were responsible for, say, the election of John McCain over Barack Obama, Nader said, "If the Democrats can't landslide the Republicans this year, they ought to just wrap up, close down, emerge in a different form."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=63125288

Otherwise, what's new? I'm annoyed that I cannot attend a LAN party this weekend because of class, since I'd have a good chance of winning money. I'm unemployed, and have been for a month nearly, because the fuckers accused me of stealing from them. (P.S. Don't work for Shell or any gas stations) I'm graduating in June, and getting married. I've got an original-ish concept for a graphic novel in development, wherein I'm trying to write it all down now and next quarter.

Other than that, my life is awash with World of Warcraft and Team Fortress 2. The two games of my life. I hope Hillary loses Texas and Ohio today, but I doubt she will. I also made a how-to video on Wegame.com that was new. Hope to try something like that again sometime.

For those few who continue to watch my LJ, hi.

So it's july, and it's hot

2007-07-10T21:02:21Z

So I've been on and about for awhile now, but not really talking much. I'm mostly trying to get a job elsewhere, preferably a second night job, and have been writing. I've got about 3 pages or so of ideas for where to take Part 2 of my manuscript and am reading "Purgatory" by Dante Alligheri to get some ideas about how I want it to progress. My usual poetry has been popping up, of course, and in it is mostly the worried wanderings of myself living in the world I'm in.

I've been reading through all Roland Barthes' work, having finished "Pleasure of the Text" & "Writing Degree Zero, I'm now working on "Elements of Semiology" and "The Space of Literature" by Blanchot. They're all pretty decent looks into linguistics and the way of writing and understanding reading. Decent critical theory to read up on at least.

Other than that, I've mostly been playing WoW every night or so, working my way into heroic dungeons at long last. Still playing a little bit of BF2 to get my FPS fix. As I do love medic-ing around, as well as some support classing. Hopefully I'll have a new job and can save money to go to PAX in late August so that I can see bands, play games, and just enjoy the game developing world.

Dunno. Just trying to get by as best I can.

Spring Cleaning

2007-03-30T17:51:40Z

So, back and forth the life does flow. What am I up to, for those of you who don't read this, I wonder.

I got my job back this week and it looks like my boss still really wants to hire me on more than full time this summer if possible, since he's trying to set up a network of sorts for the copiers. I don't see it working out, since this school never seems to update its hiring policies or try to make jobs go by easier by using technology. I hope it works out and that he can just plain hire me, so I at least have one constant tedium in my life I can be happy to have (one other non tedium excluded).

I've got class next quarter, of which will probably bore my socks right the hell off. If this doesn't get you rip-rearing to go, I don't know what will. Class schedule is pretty strange too. 9am-11am Mon, Tues, and Thurs, with continuing class from 2pm-5pm Tues and Thurs. There's a 3 hour break there for no good goddamn reason. I dunno what the shit I'm going to be doing in that time, but I doubt it'll be going home. Maybe I'll learn to use it to read for class, who knows. Waking up before 9am every weekday will start to suck, I know that much.

I'm waiting to continue DnD with Rick next week, of which I expect fully to eventually die to a whole string of types of undead in the world. The biggest being a Vampire named Strahd, of which my character is unaware of at this time. We're pretty fucked, but I hope for a 4th party member to be admitted to the game so we might live. I played a 20th level character with Yhs yesterday and that was different. Definitely a challenge with only two people, as well as finding a reason to live in the world at that level. I guess it's something different and challenging though, so that's good.

Beyond that I haven't been writing much, mostly just stressing and waiting for the class stress to make me want to write again. My deviant art seems to move along okay, and I got a letter of rejection from an Only Revolutions contest I did awhile back. But eh, free stickers at least. I really should start sending stuff to publishers, but I don't want to focus on that while in class, best to wait till the summer. Maybe by then I'll have the extra money for postage and food.

It'd be nice if one of the places I applied to while I was outa work got back to me, but I don't see that happening. It'd probably kill me working night shifts anyway, but a man can dream..

At least I move out of my place the 14th down the road quite a ways into a nice little apartment where the roommate is amazing and the dishes can be my own instead of covered in filth. Gotta get started making a list of all the things I'll need to add to the place and put it on the fridge.. Things like blenders, vacuum cleaners, couches, etc. Maybe even a bed or a dresser eventually. I'll burn that productive bridge when it comes.

Happenstance

2007-03-18T23:09:08Z

Total copy-paste job.

So I got 42 pages written for my Winter 2007 manuscript. It turned out alright, I think, and I intend to work on it further when I have the time. For now, I just have to go take another class and deal with that.

I get to see Explosions in the Sky in concert May 5th, so I'm looking forward to that. Beyond that, I'm losing my mind trying to figure out where I'll get the money for surviving if my job falls through. Here's hoping it doesn't turn into shit.

Games games

2007-03-09T20:19:13Z

So the Game Developer's Conference made me seek out gaming videos. Portal looks delicious.

Portal 1

Portal at GDC

Super Mario Galaxy

My other Emu is an Ostrich

2007-03-02T00:32:28Z

This isn't really safe for work, or school such, for those reading there, but this is a news report about "emo kids". Apparently they post about it on their "web-blogs" and cut themselves, plus they've some sort of point system to delineate how fashionable they are.

Shocking. Won't somebody save me.

I'm out

2007-02-27T00:28:51Z

So I'm 21 at 5:55pm EST today. I'm tired as hell from work, of which the copies just keep coming. I wrote up some notes on my two books, which're due in well, the end of the quarter, but have to be done sooner than that. Hopefully I can turn them into finished essays which don't suck too bad. It's going to be hard writing about interesting concepts in linguistics, since there are not that many to me, at least I think so.

I've been seeking out a second job still, applied to Staples today online, and I've got a doctoro thingy tomorrow to deal with. Hopefully life will continue with its bonum perpetua that has been going on. I just bought this today with some birthday cash. I really can't afford to use the money on such an item, but I really should spend the money I'm given as a gift for gift-use at least. It should be a fun thing to learn, at least. I'm still rolling over what to do next quarter.. I'll probably end up taking this modernist class on shitty writers of the early 20th century, but eh, it'll be credit. I doubt I'll be able to get another contract letting me continue my paper I've been working on all quarter, or any other ideas I have in mind. I think a class might be a good break from all this, actually, since I really don't want to come up with another idea and plow through it next quarter, I think.

Here's hoping.

War & Universe

2007-02-05T19:34:29Z

Two things while I'm at the puter at work.

Dave, at work, showed me this new game coming out soon that is dice and board related. It looks pretty interesting, with a rather simple d6 system and a lot of little tokens. It oughta be intriguing to play if he buys it. http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/PDF/toirules.pdf

Below is a inquiry by Scientific American into what the universe is expanding into.

A. Kenny
Canisbay, Scotland

Astrophysicist Alexander Kashlinsky of the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center tackles this question.

The evolution of the universe is described by the physics of general relativity, which was discovered by Albert Einstein in the early 20th century. When compared to Newtonian physics, this theory provides a radically different framework for the physical description of the gravitational force.

In the Newtonian interpretation (where celestial bodies move according to the laws of Newton), space and time are absolute, with time no more than a parameter in the equations of motion. Meanwhile, gravity plays the role of a mysterious force of attraction between massive bodies.

The physics of general relativity is conceptually distinct--even if its equations of motion can be reduced to Newtonian equations in many practical cases, such as with respect to the motion of the moon, or, as we will see shortly, the overall evolution of the universe.

In general relativity, space and time are merged into one four-dimensional grid, whose properties are uniquely specified (via gravity) by the bodies inhabiting them. Gravity curves the spacetime grid, so general relativity thus describes gravitational interactions as manifestations of the spacetime curvature. Objects "fall under gravity" from less curved parts of spacetime to more curved parts of the spacetime. (When spacetime becomes infinitely curved, as in the case of black holes, the gravitational force is so strong that spacetime closes on itself, creating what is called a singularity in the fabric of the underlying spacetime continuum. Nothing can escape such objects.)

According to Einstein's general relativity equations, the spacetime containing matter cannot remain stationary and must either expand or contract. Galaxies and other sources, then, are not strictly expanding away from each other but rather are attached to the fixed grid on the expanding fabric of spacetime. Thus, the galaxies give us the impression of moving away from each other. Imagine the surface of a balloon, on which you put dots. Then start inflating the balloon. The distances between the dots will increase, so if you live in one of these dots, you will interpret this as the dots--which represent galaxies in this example--moving away from each other. In reality, of course, they remain in the same positions, with respect to latitudes and longitudes on the balloon, and it is the fabric of the balloon that is actually expanding.

In Newtonian physics, one can construct a mathematical analogy to the expansion of the universe by defining a system that is expanding or contracting under its own gravity, such as a galaxy made of stars or the solar system. In this framework, however, this expansion is not linked to stretching the fabric of any spacetime. Instead, space is some abstract absolute and fixed entity that all objects move through without affecting it. Thus one can ask not only "Where is the universe expanding to?" in the Newtonian framework, but also "What happened before the initial push?"

In the framework of general relativity, however, both of these questions become meaningless. Asking the question, "Where is the universe expanding to?" implies some other coordinate grid outside spacetime. But since spacetime is linked to matter, there is no outside to the surface of the balloon. Rather, it is all the spacetime that is available.
Answer posted on February 05, 2007

Also, I'm fecking tired as all hell.

Boston Hair

2007-02-01T22:52:56Z

So there was some bullshit news story yesterday, just google "boston bomb" to get the gist. There were basically Cartoon Network "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" moon men in LED lights. The two guys who did some advertising for it around town were caught and gave a hilarious interview.

Check it out. Hair is important, dammit.

Cartoon Network also apologized as it had nothing to do with it.

Gay bands are bad, this just in

2007-01-25T09:08:23Z

So yeah, this is terrible in a lot of ways.

Positing Inquiry and Politricks

2007-01-23T21:20:48Z

The idea of getting a vasectomy is increasingly alluring, if only because I don't see a reason to have kids, nor do I want any. It looks as if I have to be 21 (which I will be in february) and a resident of WA to get it done for free, so unless I get some money piling up (yeah right) there's probably going to be another 2 years till I can get it done, since I can't become a resident while attending college.

The residency legalese is amazing, but confusing when I think of the following concept: You can't become a resident if you're still in college, because they'll think you're just here for education and not helping as a resident of the state. You can become a resident by marrying someone who is already. The question becomes that: What if you're a student, marrying a person in state? It's like a loophole inherent to the system, but it seems completely outlandish for it to be plausible of course.

I dunno. Just musings, as it were. I still got awhile till I can say I'm a resident here, though it'd be funny applying for it early.. going "Well, I don't intend to improve upon this state when I'm a resident anyway, so why make me wait?"

In response to your thought on Churchhill:
"Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others." - Edward Abbey

The lesser of two evils is still evil. Just because democracy is supposedly "better" than the worst doesn't make it at all "good". We rid ourselves of administrations and only receive a propagation of more legislators who seek only paychecks, rather than change and equality. No matter who is voted in, the status quo remains, and nothing is fixed without extreme action forcing change; or so says history.

In response to your thought that democracy "its a luxury most of the world's population doesn't enjoy," I present you the fact that more than List 80% of the world is democratic now, so it is quite a widespread luxury, not some amazing burgeoning idea that only propagates in the US and Europe.

Though I agree with your belief in revolt after things have altered, I personally believe that the two-party system that the U.S. has taken upon itself to call natural is a form of fascism and deserves to be revolted against. It has taken away our freedom to vote equally. The chosen few are given the chance to become the leader and it's been whoever has the most money or charisma for far too long.

A loss of freedom isn't necessarily a visible fact, but a subtle undermining of all that exists naturally and appears as if it is true. Democracy is constantly subverted in America, but because other options or methodologies aren't seen as plausible to the way our particular system works, a fascism of ideas subverts the very means to freedom.

Just a thought, albeit my own link-ridden one.

Worry & Workmanship

2007-01-21T06:44:10Z

Ugh. I gotta go put in some night time applications at the end of next week because I need a second job big time. My income is basically equal to my bills right now, so it's a real bitch just trying to cover them all at the right time. Luckily my parents pay for part of my car and my grandma still sends me cash for groceries, which actually get put onto bills most of the time. Be nice to ween myself a bit farther from all that, but I spose they want to help, so I can't turn em down just yet, especially since I need it.

I'm thinking of working in Jack-in-the-Box if only because it isn't some sales place like retail shops nor some basic shop like Ace Hardware or Wallgreens. It's relatively simple, albeit complex initially, and presumably even I can learn how to cook crap or push in button combinations to delineate their order amounts. We'll see, I spose. Guess I'll have to apply at Arby's and perhaps Taco Bell as well, just to have other options. I want Jack's if only because they're open 24 hours and I'd be okay working 5-12 or 12-8 late hours for them. That, and I like their food and appreciate their local franchise kind of service.

Just another thing to worry about, since I've been turned down from every job I've ever applied to. My two "jobs" I've had were work-study related, so they'd have hired just about anyone, long as they got their shit turned in on time. Luckily I'll be in one of them for another year, then if I'm real lucky, it'll turn state-job if they hire me on full-time. I'm betting my luck is shit on that goal though, but I can hope I spose.

Still gotta write more for my contract, and I'm not reading nearly fast enough. It's all going alright, but I'm kinda running outa forms from the Oulipo Compendium, at least one's that're useful in a "more than just an exercise" kind of methodology. Guess I'll have to fall back onto some previously ventured into literary forms eventually, like sonnets, haiku's and acrostics. Anything to make me maybe figure out something to write about.

Them's the worries. I've got a bag to share if anyone's living too nice.

Politicapathy

2007-01-17T01:48:02Z

So I wrote something for the Cooper Point Journal, school newspaper here, and doubt it'll get published. Then again, they do tend to throw most any opinion in there. Anyways, figured why not throw it up here, so thar she blows.. in all it's apathetic political glory.

Political Strategery: Ignore Your Legislator

President Bush told CBS his thoughts on the Iraq situation Sunday the 14th: “I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude.” It made me wonder just what they should be thanking us for, or even if we have anything to be thankful to the U.S. government for either.

The role that responsibility plays in U.S. culture is an important one, whether it’s the responsibility for the citizens of the country to take a share of responsibility for the war in Iraq, or the responsibility to do something about corrupt leaders that have led us into such a war. I really don’t know how anyone can do much to our Republic these days, what with voting being a paltry glance into the lesser-of-two-evils realm of responsible actions; and writing letters, protesting, or even just not voting at all turning into a kind of political bickering that amounts to the general public and legislators ignoring the little voices they hears nagging at them from the media sidelines.

Whenever I think to myself: “How can I fix this shithole government?” I come to sadly realize that I’d have to use the electoral process we use now to get anything done. If we’re to change the election process, be it to run-off voting or some other ball of wax, by using our own electoral process we’re already set in, then we’re screwed. Someone has to run for office under the campaign that, once elected, they’d change this whole corrupt system for the better. That old idea about how you do more damage to the system from the inside never thought to look into the realm of electoral politics, since if the system of elections don’t work, then nothing gets altered. Elections are just another party for insane old men and women to get paid at, popping up one gopher-head at a time before they get bopped out on the curb after 2-4 years.

In any case, the idea here is one that ultimately, so long as our government supposes a certain level of “representative”-ness to its democracy, we’re stuck with the blame as much as they are. Oh, “they’re corrupt, I can’t change it, it’s a big pile of crap waaaaah,” you say? Well deal with it in a way that takes you outa the equation. Don’t want the world to be able to blame you for the way your government acts? Stop paying taxes, stop voting, hell, just plain stop paying attention to the way the whole pile of shit works as it is. If there’s one thing a corrupt government built on the propaganda of idealism thrives off of it’s the futile hopes and dreams of people’s belief in a slow progress to the future.

I, for one, am going to keep at it. That is, keep at my method of futility and apathy towards the way this government chooses to work. If the world sees fit to attack the U.S. because of its illegal wars (are their legal ones, too?) or find a way to bicker at us without using force, then so be it, we deserve it. At this point the world looks a might bit too paranoid to strike out against the Bully-of-the-World: U.S.A. It’s as bad as a group of people trying to calm down a rabid dog with cookies and time-outs in the corner. The U.N. can’t get around the vetoes, Europe is too busy making a break for economic freedom from the West, and China is busy learning to be moderate in their extremism to attack or do anything about what the U.S. is doing to the Middle East and the world at large.

All I can do is sit back, wait for a key issue to vote for, and bitch gladly with the rest of the world until the whole corrupt bag-of-crap is toppled or we get to make anew with some fancy revolution I, nor anyone else, could foresee coming. Food and shelter will still be expensive, no matter how we vote these days, nor will healthcare be dying down to a universal-hey, I can survive the pharmacy bill!-payment level anytime soon, so I say dig in and ignore the political blight upon the land for the better. They don’t deserve the attention anymore.

The Sun Rocks; No Duh

2007-01-17T00:09:31Z

So I was reading Qwantz, aka Dinosaur Comics, today and discovered Ryan North, the creator, musing about how much light it would take to throw a dude into a wall. And sure enough it only took a day for his fans to throw science back at him about how much it would take.

Behold the Light Cannon Equations.

From his web site:
"Alex Rea and Chris Berry to the rescue! Stating their assumptions clearly, and with a judicious application of Science, including the rare Stefan-Boltzmann Constant, we discover that we only need the light emitted by 4.7x10^-15 of the total surface area of the sun in order to throw a dude into a wall! This is excellent. This means our sun is capable of throwing 2.13x10^14 dudes into a wall at the same time! Our sun rules!"

Ah, how I adore science. Found a poetic form today adopted from Jacques Ben's "3-1-4-1-5" pattern where the syllables in the successive verses follows pi to the 13th decimal place. I think a partial example is done by Ian Monk in Sestanagrammatina for Michelle Grangaud. It's a rather neat way to use mathematics in conjunction with structural poetics. I'm trying to find one that'd work alright for internet-webcam/esque kinds structure. I may have to settle for some divided variant of the speed of light, or the equation that results in its' amount, to discover a structure that may better encompass the underlying fabric of the content being discussed.

But yeah, anyway, I'm up the 6 page point and coded part of my philosophical ramblings I put into the piece at work today. We'll see whether I can figure out a way to start reading shite soon.

The 10th Dimension

2007-01-11T21:38:32Z

So I was in the middle of writing something for my contract and got distracted. Check out this for a look into a kind of superstring-esque idea of physics. It's sort of Carl Sagan meets Brian Greene, as far as physics ideas and explanations go. Not too shabby though, albeit simplistic.

Imagining the Tenth Dimension

Life Revolutions of Ruin and Oohing

2007-01-05T21:15:32Z

Welp, got zee contract starting next week, wherein I write a buncha shite each week and meet up to something or another. Oughta be interesting, long as all my books come in on time. Been in presence for a day or dayhalf, turned inside out by my fuzzy mind gone to comply. Beyond that, luckily all my bills might actually get paid, so somebody out there's gonna be happy about that, damndable companies. Hopefully I can maintain my writing, which I oughta be able to, but the amount of material on something I've already had some closure on might be an interesting thing to figure out how to write.

I've got some form ideas already, so we'll see what's what.

Some book stuff..

So I finished Only Revolutions, ie I finished Sam's story finally after already reading Hailey's. It's decent, if not a bit confusing as to what actually happens at the end of the book. Overall they're a decent collection of ideas and situations. Sam's using of animal names for descriptions of places, actions, adjectives and whatnots.. (example: --Give over the tenderest, rawrrrawrk / snarling Coydogs ready to fang / whoever dares by. I dare by.) was usually interesting to read, but really did something to the context of where he was at. Since sometimes reading descriptions with proper nouns in their place distorts pretty far gone what things look right, but considering Danielewski didn't use many prepositions in this book (ie He never used the word "in") perhaps he needed an out that'd work when he absolutely had to say something he couldn't put in the story. Hailey's is the same with, but with plant names (example: Reeds & Rushes lapped the current, / slaps impossibly urging US back.) which I suppose says something about her character being rather abstract, almost alien to the world around her, so much so that she'd identify with plants over living creatures. Whereas Sam, a human being with the utmost of ego, probably more in tune with his humanity than anyone, identifies with the living breathing creatures of the earth, of whom are all under his domain, sorta.

The plot was mixed, with a lot of sex and travel, working odd jobs and doing the most abstract of things. The only thing that kept me remotely on track with the dialects changing every page was their cars they either drove or stole, since their names changed over time, whether it was because they had a new car or not wasn't told, but one could assume they're living forever and the cars change with them. It's a story almost about the timelessness of love without property or boundaries, class or conflicts, getting in the way. They have nothing but each other and want it to remain that way forever and never. They intend to outlast the world, always sixteen, whether anyone cares to believe them or even let them be married over time, because the world knows, and they know, too.

It's got an interesting sound, so that was good enough.

Bored and Movie Review Time

2006-12-31T09:36:55Z

So many movies. I've watched quite a few this winter break, even more than I'm mentioning here.

I watched Children of Men, which I got a screener of recently and hadn't seen. It was a bit typical in terms of plot. It felt a lot like 28 Days Later, if only for the setting in England and how it just throws you into the story, with no explanation really, as to how everyone's infertile (since they don't know either) or who most of these people or organizations are. Clive Owen acted really well, and the main pregnant chick did a decent job. The Operative of Serenity, Chiwetel Ejiofor, was in this film and did a decent job as a prick. Beyond that, it had some surreal moments once or twice in the film, namely Michael Caine as a pothead hippie which was awesome. It's an okay flick, worth seeing I suppose, but it tied together an eerie sense of current political problems with a sci-fi demeanor of adventure rather well.

I watched One Flew Cuckoo's Nest, which I hadn't seen. It was decent, glad to see where all the "mental institution" films of today got their inspiration. It was interesting to see Jack Nicholson being thoughtful, or at least a good an actor as he was at the time of the film's creation. Danny Devito was also shown looking unusually short, I mean I know he's short, but sometimes ya just never notice due to the way he's shot in modern film. All in all a definite classic, with Nurse Rachet as probably the biggest bitch I've ever seen, surprisingly well acted throughout the film as someone who would not relent. I believe Jack's character called her an "unrelenting cunt", accurately so.

I watched Seven Years in Tibet, which I have seen before, but which I never cease to enjoy. It has Brad Pitt, whom I love in any film. It has part mountain climbing, part WW2 POW escapes, part survival amongst friends whom one cannot live without, and part war with the world which seeks to invade a peaceful land. All around an interesting film and based off a real person who lived and experienced what occurred in the film.

It would seem that the real Dalai Lama is an honorary citizen of Canada and the Ukraine, but yeah, that's my life recently. Tomorrow I get to call my mom, as I do each week, so that'll be a real blast I'm sure. I've got my contract worked out, mostly, just gotta bring it by academic advising for a once-over. And I've got to find, read: siphon, $50 or more to buy my newly added book list for next quarter, since my teacher apparently wanted me to read rather than just write a shitload. Fun fun.

after a brief walk, and thinking about Lama quotes relating to "Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values." and his thoughts on silence and solitude, that my only consistent value beyond subjectivism is this: Silence is not necessarily a value, but solitude is. Some things must be said, one way or another, but when it comes to existence, a moment with oneself in solitude can help one obtain peace. If one can remain at peace within, then one's world shall become peaceful, or at least insofar as one can alter it. One does not need to be happy, or sad, or any emotion, but peaceful, to remain able to remain alive and capable of survival.

If all were at peace inside, then the world would have peace outside. It is only through (mis)understanding oneself and the world around you through peace that one can expect to live life with fulfillment.

Explosions in the Page

2006-12-29T23:28:02Z

So I'm at work, writing a set of poems to this. It's a free album, so get it while it's old and decaying. I'll probably edit in some parts of my stuff in time.

excerpts

2.Shuffle on
and play a little waltz
with your hands rivuletting
in such an ornery bean stalk
climbing into masts
that're blowing us along
no wait, that's all wrong.

...

Shuffle a laugh instead
and play a little rock
shaking up marshmallows
and making a little smore for later
between the fawning of vocalizations
and the backforth wonder of
this falling out rumination.

...

with a bit of body shaking
drum commiserating
that asks you out to a flick
and hopes for a chance to be complete
amongst the corners of that strumming
that you call your own kind of musical.

...

as if the clouds were dreading this day
and wishing they'd stayed home to haze
with their foggy demeanor trying to say
"I'm not even supposed.."
but we all know what they live for
is this hurt amongst the storm

...

Let's give the low bells a ride into town
they've got nowhere to go but home
and I figure we'll accompany their abode
if only by giving into to the sense of right
amongst this weathered atmosphere
rising into a mingling of fair beliefs

ps. These are the only Explosions in the Sky lyrics I know of, but they caught me off guard tonight:
'Have you passed Through this Night?' from their album 'Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Live Forever'

"This great evil - where's it come from?
How'd it steal into the world?
What seed, what root did it grow from?
Who's doing this?
Who's killing us, robbing us of life and light, mocking us with the sight of what we mighta known?
Does our ruin benefit the earth, aid the grass to grow and the sun to shine?
Is this darkness in you, too?
Have you passed through this night?"

pps Speaking of Great evils
so it would seem that Saving Private Ryan could've been made better, if it had music from EitS.

Eccentric? Never

2006-12-29T11:32:26Z

"Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd."
- Edith Sitwell

saw this on my quote of the day, felt almost right.

Obama

2006-12-29T08:03:16Z

" In the end, that's what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism, or do we participate in a politics of hope?

John Kerry calls on us to hope. John Edwards calls on us to hope. I'm not talking about blind optimism here, the almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we just don't think about it, or health care crisis will solve itself if we just ignore it.

That's not what I'm talking. I'm talking about something more substantial. It's the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker's son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too."
An Hour with Charlie Rose: Barack Obama

I'm watching this at the moment, thought the skinny kid line was neat.

He said something like 'It isn't that there aren't good economic ideas out there being given, it's just that the people in power don't have the political will to act on those ideas. Look at Kennedy, he said "we're going to the moon, in ten years" and had the will to give them a chance'

"'That's how I grew up: respectful, but not particularly religious'" Seems his mom was an anthropologist who brought him to all sorts of religious institutions to share the wealth of knowledge they had, rather than to share their faiths. Rather hilarious here, to see him not fall into Charlie Rose's attempts to keep him on religion. "Back to Herald Ford..." he falls right back into politics, then weaves back into "The black church is less judgmental" which is an interesting way to go about it.

"Secularists are much more interested in morality and ethics than the right wing make them out to be."

oy, Obama is growing on me. A lawyer politician who says that faith is not amenable to proof, that you can be religious in office and not be speaking to god and letting him influence your social politics. His politics are logical at least, which I'd say his upbringing and education have created.

"i'm not opposed to all wars, i'm opposed to dumb wars. i oppose wars based on ideological terror"

Infinity of Boredom

2006-12-27T02:24:27Z

So I got my Tortoise CD in the mail. It's alright, though I'd say Red Sparrowes are much better. They fall into a kind of nigh-electronica sound sometimes on their album TNT, so I fell out of touch with what their music was like. Maybe it'll grow on me, who knows.

Also, I submitted this pile of image beneath the cut to Mark Z. Danielewski's "Only Revolutions" contest today, so we'll see how that goes. Looks like only 5 or so people even submitted art on the forum there, so I'm hoping to make bank. If anything I'd like to be able to get exposure for my pentAcrostic, since I don't know if literary forms are patentable or what.

I nearly got my one-shot Star Wars campaign that is premade all the way understood, but some of the vehicle combat screwed with my head. I've made a decent jedi character I hope to force on someone or play myself at least.. Fucker has like 24 AC when he designates a target and can get it up to 28 against blasterfire. He's wearing a goddamn robe, but is just agile as all hell. Looks like it might be interesting, we'll see. It'd be nice to have more people to play a game once in awhile.

Ex Mass Ruminating

2006-12-26T05:55:50Z

So it's nearly the end of giftmas. Real entertaining. Guess I'll do that whole "what'd you do today" speal because well, I got nothing better to do at 10pm. I woke up, which was my first mistake, and eventually played some Neverwinter Nights 2. That worked alright until I went to my co-worker's place for food. He had some roast, french bread, green beans, and mashed potatoes to eat, while we watched some Family Guy. That was a good 3-4 hours spent. In near complete silence. It may have been because his wife was in a bad mood, but it just felt rather dead.

Upon getting home, and listening to one of the 3 burned cds I had made for the car earlier today, I wrote 4 poems based around "Red Sparrowes"'s new CD, while listening to it. One or two of them might be considered alright. I watched Pirates the Carribean 2, which I downloaded last night, and would have to say it was about as good as the first one. Definitely had some crazy fights and interesting story bits to it, though I rather hated the ending taking out Jack Sparrow in a noble fashion. Though seemingly there's a 3rd one, since this one left room for yet another sequel, so maybe they'll go rescue him from Hell or something.

I'm starving off depression, as I do, since I figure there's no reason to be as such. I got work all week, but of course I've next monday off for new years. I guess I could try drinking for something to do then, but we'll see how I'm going by then. This week I'll hopefully read some more books, get the remainder of the gifts I ordered, and plan out some bullshit thank you notes while I hope for inspiration and things to capture my attention.

What a wonderful life it is.. and how I wish I could listen to music without having to stay occupied. The new Explosions in the Sky CD continues to impress me. Maybe I'll go walking.

Red Sparrowes and Poetry

2006-12-25T04:16:28Z

Ugh.. so much poetry. I finished a piece I threw onto my group/DA that has been brewing for like 5 days or more. Fuck Photoshop. That's all I have to say about that. Actually, that's not everything, since I'll probably be submitting it into a Mark Z. Danielewski contest if only because his book inspired my newest literary form and the content is rather close to his book "only revolutions" with home being presence, more than it being a place.

In other news, I got a cd by Red Sparrowes called "Every Red Heart Shines Toward the Red Sun" which is simply delightful. It's instrumental/postrock music from people who are in "Isis" and "Neurosis", mainly metal bands, so it's interesting to hear them toning it down. Looks like they were once with "Robotic Empire", the recording label of Circle Takes the Square, for awhile, so that is also delicious to hear. It seems to be vaguely political, but overall it's more guitar-heavy in sound and really drags you into the music as it goes along.

1. "The Great Leap Forward Poured Down Upon Us One Day Like a Mighty Storm, Suddenly and Furiously Blinding Our Senses." – 7:00
2. "We Stood Transfixed in Blank Devotion as Our Leader Spoke to Us, Looking Down On Our Mute Faces With a Great, Raging, and Unseeing Eye." – 8:55
3. "Like the Howling Glory of the Darkest Winds, This Voice Was Thunderous and the Words Holy, Tangling Their Way Around Our Hearts and Clutching Our Innocent Awe." – 10:08
4. "A Message of Avarice Rained Down Upon Us and Carried Us Away Into False Dreams of Endless Riches. " – 7:11
5. "'Annihilate the Sparrow, That Stealer of Seed, and Our Harvests Will Abound; We Will Watch Our Wealth Flood In.'" – 8:43
6. "And by Our Own Hand Did Every Last Bird Lie Silent in Their Puddles, the Air Barren of Song as the Clouds Drifted Away. For Killing Their Greatest Enemy, the Locusts Noisily Thanked Us and Turned Their Jaws Toward Our Crops, Swallowing Our Greed Whole." – 1:42
7. "Millions Starved and Became Skinnier and Skinnier, While Our Leaders Became Fatter and Fatter." – 9:55
8. "Finally, as That Blazing Sun Shone Down Upon Us, Did We Know That True Enemy Was the Voice of Blind Idolatry; and Only Then Did We Begin to Think for Ourselves." – 8:03

HEAT I Say HEAT!

2006-12-23T02:41:02Z

Fuck yeah POWER. I got the heat cranking and am pondering what to do. It is nice to be home.

I came home from Dave's (my co-worker whom I've been staying at all week) and saw the power trucks waiting around, so I just watched em with the neighbors as they fixed it all up. Man, I'm so bouncin-off-the-walls happy about not freezing my fucking ass off anymore. Here's hoping it isn't jinxed.

8 fucking days. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo power.

Zomg Games & Books, Noooooo

2006-12-20T19:09:24Z

Instead of making this a forum comment, I'll think it here.

So, the Xbox360 already has Gears of War out, which is alright, since I don't care enough to want to play it. But shit, Mass Effect, Lost Planet, and Halo 3 (which presumably, will be better than the previous 2) are all coming out next year. I keep wanting a Wii, but they don't have any games that intrigue me. The system does, sure, but the Nintendo games don't really interest me. I guess I could play old S/NES/Sega games all the time on it, but who gives a shit about those in the long run with my lax personality for following through.

I mean, I could play Mass Effect a few times through and it's already going to have 2 more coming out after it to complete a trilogy. Lost Planet will just be absurd for the environment and the FPS goofiness, but man, I could alternate between it and Gears of War just fine. Gaaah, I'm so glad these games aren't out right now or I'd find a way to buy the system and play play play till I pass out.

Luckily I got some cash today from my other Aunt and bought 2 books; Notable American Women by Ben Marcus, the delicious wordsmith that he is, and Tlooth by Harry Mathews, the code meister of my lovely reading experience. Grabbed a CD by the band Tortoise called "TNT" which is supposed to be amazing. I haven't been able to download a proper copy, so I'm just buying it on a fluke. And finally I grabbed the Complete Sessions of Cowboy Bebop for $26, which was astoundingly awesome.

Picked up Roland Barthes' "Mythologies" and James Luceno's "Dark Lord: Rise of Darth Vader" of which I've already read the Star Wars book in one sitting, and would honestly say it's up there on par with some of the others I've read. Its overall characters were rather boring, but the progression of Vader into his role as someone other than Anakin was interesting, since it's almost like he had to stop listening to a whole other part of his conscience after becoming Darth Vader. It was constantly nagging at him and now he's finding his way into power, learning how to be a better, stronger man. His constant worry over his suit's shitty capabilities is interesting, since you always figure "That's gotta suck, having to rely on that" and it brings him down to earth to see him thinking such things about himself while he puts on an act as the executioner for the Emperor for the rest of the Empire. They covered a lot of ground in the novel at least. Managed to take Kashyyyk and turn thousands of Wookiees into slaves to be used in the construction of the Death Star, which was a fact I hadn't considered in its initial creation, the use of alien slaves. I knew they hated aliens in the Empire, but hadn't figured they'd let Wookiees near such a creation.

I really want to buy "Darth Bane: Path of Destruction" after reading a teaser from it in the back of the Vader book, since it just came out, but I don't want to pay $20 for it just yet. I've been itching for some Sith Era books and this is the first one, detailing the story of Darth Bane from over a Thousand years prior to Phantom Menace. It looks to be delicious, since he was the forerunner of Sith revitalization and was quite the wise tyrant, so yeah, I hope to read it soon.

Odd to see how my enjoyment of Star Wars peaks when there's no school going on, but I guess it's for the best.